Please Don't Let Me be Misunderstood

I really try to avoid creating multiple posts in one day, primarily because I'm worried that I won't have enough to write about on other days. However, I just saw this video clip from what appears to be a Republican response to Slate and just had to respond:



Now, I'm no political guru, but what Mark McKinnon says about President Bush not revealing his lighter side to the national media runs counter to everything we've been taught to believe about the press. I'm not talking about the presumed bias against anything Republican here; Fox News and Rush Limbaugh fill that void. No, it is this direct quote from McKinnon:

It’s really hard, and it’s increasingly hard with the proliferation of media, to provide that kind of exposure and transparency that we’d like to. To get kind of behind the curtain and show the human side.

Wait, you're trying to make the claim that the reason why no one ever saw the softer side of Bush 43 is because of the proliferation of media? That there are too many sources from which we voters can get to know a candidate?

I don't think I've ever heard anything more patently false* than that. I know that these political insiders, spin doctors, and apparatchiks have their own agendas any time they open their mouths. Michael J. Fox had a wonderful TV show for a long time based on that one premise. But there should be a line drawn between simple spin or image control and outright falsehoods.

* Well, maybe that the Soviets invaded Afghanistan because they were looking for a warm water port, but that's beside the point.

Case in point: The current (and soon to be former) Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, is currently undergoing impeachment hearings in the Illinois state Senate. He decided to boycott the proceedings, claiming a denial of his due process, and instead is waging the public perception war for his image by making personal appearances on 20/20, Good Morning America, and whatnot. That's his right, and certainly lots of people who have screwed up royally decided to take a similar path. Why admit any wrongdoing, when you can shed a few tears in front of Barbara Walters and get a few sympathetic people on your side? It's as American as apple pie, these days.

However, that doesn't mean we have to like it or accept it. Falsehoods are falsehoods, no matter how they are spun. Getting back to the original comment, doesn't McKinnon think there was a single TV show host who would have loved to bring Bush 43 on the set and present him in a favorable light? His statement is that not a single event like that was possible for the eight years of the Bush administration, and that is impossible to believe. Were the shots of Bush relaxing on his Crawford, TX ranch not enough to humanize the man? What about the stills of Bush riding his mountain bike?

No, the real culprit here is not the fact that too many media choices exist to showcase a candidate's sense of humor. For too long, politics have revolved around the ability to show candidates in more open settings. Think of Bill Clinton appearing on MTV to field the infamous "Boxers or briefs?" question, or of him appearing on The Tonight Show to play the sax for Jay Leno. The real danger is that those fluff pieces can drown out more serious discussions on policy stances or political agendas.

Ask yourself this question: what was the alternative before these media avenues existed? Political machines like Tammany Hall used to pick our candidates for us, didn't they? Behind closed doors in smoke-filled rooms, they did. Would we really want to head back to that style of process?

No, the real culprits for not knowing enough about a candidate are those spin meisters like McKinnon himself. As access to the candidates improved with radio and television this past century, those candidates best able to work with the new technologies benefited the most. Think of JFK in the first televised debate with Richard Nixon. Anyone listening to that debate thought Nixon won; those watching on TV had a vastly different impression. Heck, think of those candidates (including Obama) now blogging and using the Internet to spur grassroots organizations and fund-raising machines.

But as access has increased, so has the worry (again, on the part of the spin meisters like McKinnon) that their candidate will say or do something stupid while a camera or like device is recording. The only alternative? To severely restrict access to a candidate and heavily script every appearance, every utterance, to make sure the candidate remains on topic and on message, lest any words that could be used in a negative campaign ad be caught on tape.

The same is true in sports, as well. Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods, at one point of their lives, were happy, confident young men who delighted in telling their own story to the press. As they realized the power (and lucrative nature!) of marketing themselves, they clammed up to the point of only saying the most droll of sound bites. It's also why Jordan never took up a side for a politician, using the old line that "Republicans buy shoes, too."

So, the problem is not that there are too many media outlets "...to provide that kind of exposure and transparency that we’d like to." The problem is that the candidates' or President's handlers won't allow him (or her) to speak for him- or herself while on the campaign trail or while in office. Just give credit where credit is due. You can't blame mass media for every ill in society, as tempting as that might be.

The Amazing Snuggie!

So, travel has long been a way to experience new foods, new cultures, you name it. Going back to the days of Marco Polo and long before him, travelers and merchants have sought out exotic new lands, new peoples, and new products to purchase.

So it really is no surprise that traveling to another part of the U.S. still remains an effective way of seeing new things or new products. Having come to Montgomery, AL this week, I discovered for myself one of the most amazing, exotic new products ever. I saw, for the first time, commercials on TV for the Amazing Snuggie!

Yes, it's called the Snuggie, and here's the website. Yes, it's one of those "As Seen on TV" brands. I can't grab a picture very easily, so you'll have to click through the link to watch the commercial, which auto-runs on the website. That itself is annoying enough, and then I get the ads on any of the different cable channels here in the hotel.

I just can't imagine anyone thinking this is a good idea for a product, much less buying one. Maybe, if you swore you would never, ever be caught dead in a Snuggie by neighbors or friends, it might make a little bit of sense. I just can't stomach the images of the actors warming themselves in front of the fireplace, playing backgammon, watching the kids play soccer, or roasting marshmallows over the fire together as a family. It's ridiculous! Don't forget that the Amazing Snuggie is open in the back, so sitting on metal bleachers would still get cold. It's lamealicious!

Back to What's Wrong With the BCS

Blow up the BCS already!!!

I'm getting really tired of bad bowl game matchups, tired of blowouts in big games, and really tired of not letting the players decide on the field of play who really is the best team in the "Football Bowl Subdivision" (what everyone still knows as Division I-A college football).

In case you're curious, here are the official rules straight from the BCS Football website on FOX Sports on MSN (whew! Sounds like many of these multi-sponsor bowl game names!):

Bowl Championship Series

Automatic Qualification, At-Large Eligibility and Selection Procedures, 2007-2010 Games

Automatic Qualification

1. The top two teams in the final BCS Standings shall play in the National Championship Game.

2. The champions of the Atlantic Coast, Big East, Big Ten, Big 12, Pac-10 and Southeastern conferences will have automatic berths in one of the participating bowls after the 2008 through 2013 regular seasons.

3. The champion of Conference USA, the Mid-American Conference, the Mountain West Conference, the Sun Belt Conference or the Western Athletic Conference will earn an automatic berth in a BCS bowl game if either:

A. Such team is ranked in the top 12 of the final BCS Standings, or,
B. Such team is ranked in the top 16 of the final BCS Standings and its ranking in the final BCS Standings is higher than that of a champion of a conference that has an annual automatic berth in one of the BCS bowls.

No more than one such team from Conference USA, the Mid-American Conference, the Mountain West Conference, the Sun Belt Conference, and the Western Athletic Conference shall earn an automatic berth in any year. (Note: a second team may be eligible for at-large eligibility as noted below.) If two or more teams from those conferences satisfy the provisions for an automatic berth, then the team with the highest finish in the final BCS Standings will receive the automatic berth, and the remaining team or teams will be considered for at-large selection if it meets the criteria.

4. Notre Dame will have an automatic berth if it is in the top eight of the final BCS Standings.

5. If any of the 10 slots remain open after application of provisions 1 through 4, and an at-large team from a conference with an annual automatic berth for its champion is ranked No. 3 in the final BCS Standings, that team will become an automatic qualifier, provided that no at-large team from the same conference qualifies for the national championship game.

6. If any of the 10 slots remain open after application of provisions 1 through 5, and if no team qualifies under paragraph No. 5 and an at-large team from a conference with an annual automatic berth for its champion is ranked No. 4 in the final BCS Standings, that team will become an automatic qualifier provided that no at-large team from the same conference qualifies for the national championship game.

OK, so we're dealing with five bowl games pitting the top ten teams according to the last BCS rankings at the end of the season against one another, right? To borrow a line from Lee Corso, Not so fast, my friend!

This year, rule #1 is fairly easy to implement. #1 Oklahoma* (Big 12 champion, 12-1 record) faces off against #2 Florida (SEC champ, 12-1). Unlike in years past, this should be a good matchup between two very deserving teams. No quibbles here. Let's look at some of the other four BCS bowl games, however.

* For clarity's sake, all rankings are pulled from the final BCS rankings as of today, 7 Dec.

Now we're down to eight spots to fill from the mix of automatic berth qualifiers and teams deserving of at-large bids. Le "Granddaddy of them all"(TM), the Rose Bowl gets #5 USC (Pac 10 champ, 11-1) against #8 Penn State (Big 10 champ, 11-1), and that has two benefits: 1) It should be an entertaining game between two very good teams; and 2) It preserves the Big 10-Pac 10 matchup everyone likes to see. At least, that is the preferred matchup since 1947.

Now just six spots remain in three other BCS bowls. Let's swing over to the Sugar Bowl first, just for giggles. Meeting at the Super Dome this year are #6 Utah (Mountain West champ, 12-0) and #4 Alabama (SEC number two, 12-1). Wait, so that means we're already burning one at-large bid for a conference number two. Given that Alabama held the number one ranking for so long, and is still ranked so highly after losing to Florida in the SEC Championship, that's probably OK. This should be a good game, although I haven't seen much of either team this year. Alabama has a strong defense, and I couldn't begin to tell you anything at all about Utah other than they are undefeated. Urban Meyer isn't still coaching there, right?

Four spots remain; who's gonna get 'em?! Again, for giggles, let's go to the Orange Bowl. For some reason, the BCS commissioners decided to award automatic BCS berths to the winners of the Big Least and ACC conferences. The ACC has some traditionally decent football schools in there, including the Florida version of Miami, Georgia Tech, Clemson, Florida State, and Boston College. Virginia Tech rose to prominence behind Beamerball and Michael Vick, and Ralph Friedgen did some good work at Maryland, but the rest of the schools are more basketball schools like UNC, Wake Forest, NC State, and Duke. The Big Least has been something of a football wasteland ever since they lost their more powerful schools to the ACC. They had to pick up Cincinnati and Southern Florida just to keep the conference going, so we're basically talking about Pitt, Rutgers, WV, and Louisville. Syracuse is a basketball school that hasn't been good in football since Jim Brown played there. Regardless, two other automatic bids go out for this game, and it should be a real winner. #12 Cincinnati (Big East champ, 11-2) looks much better in this matchup against a #19 Virginia Tech (ACC champ, 9-4) team that played its way into the automatic BCS berth by beating a better BC squad in the ACC Championship game. Again, this game should be a real winner... NOT!

Now that we've let in two teams that finished outside the top ten in the last BCS rankings, that means two teams from the top ten have to get screwed somehow. It's simple math.

And that takes us down to the last BCS bowl game, the Fiesta Bowl. Fortunately, we didn't have to worry about Notre Dame taking up a BCS spot via rule #4, although by some miracle, they did finish 6-6 and bowl eligible this season. They're playing in the Hawaii Bowl on 24 Dec, so Merry Christmas, ND fans. We did see the successful application of rule #3, in which the MWC champ, Utah, gets to play in a BCS game. That also invokes the last paragraph of rule #3, stating that no more than one team from one of the "lesser" conferences shall obtain an automatic berth. So, now that we've satisfied all the automatic berths, we go to the at-large berths.

This year, we actually see the successful application of rule #5 (and aren't you happy all the rules are right where you can see them?!). The University of Texas ended up #3 in the final poll, and since OU won the Big 12's automatic berth (not an at-large bid), the Longhorns suddenly find themselves in an automatic berth. Confused yet? We also see the successful application of rule #6, since Alabama finished #4 in the final poll, yet Florida qualified as the automatic berthee from the SEC Conference. But wait, we did see UT qualify under rule #5. At this point, I think all bets are off, and the BCS gurus can basically pick whomever they want.

The teams we're left with are #7 Texas Tech (Big 12 number three, 11-1), #9 Boise State (Western Athletic Conference champ, 12-0), #10 Ohio State (Big 10 number two, 10-2), and #11 TCU (MWC number two, 10-2). They already allowed two Big 12 teams into the BCS club, and the rules stipulate that no more than two teams from a BCS conference can take up spots in the BCS bowls. Sorry, Texas Tech, you had a great season and even knocked off the number one team in the land at home, but you're out!

They already allowed in one "lesser" conference champion in Utah into the BCS club, so what are the odds that Boise State would get an at-large invite? Even though Boise State proved two years ago they could play with the big boys (during one of the most thrilling Fiesta Bowls ever!!!) when they shocked OU in overtime through a little razzle-dazzle, what are the odds of getting another shot at a big-time football factory like Texas? Maybe the BCS gods were a little scared that Boise State might pull off another upset against a Big 12 school on a neutral field. That just might upset the whole BCS apple cart. Shock me once, shame on you; shock me twice, shame on me...

Oh, and sorry, TCU, but no one is about to pass out an at-large BCS berth to the number two team from the MWC. It just ain't gonna happen.

So, this year's Fiesta Bowl matches #3 Texas (Big 12 number two, 11-1) against #10 Ohio State (Big 10 number two, 10-2). Yes, OSU fans do like to travel to the desert in January. Yes, Ohio State has had good success at the site of the Fiesta Bowl. Yes, OSU is a football factory competing head-to-head with the football factory from Texas. OSU and Texas even played that very memorable home-and-home series several years ago, when Vince Young parlayed an early-season victory over Ohio State into a national title run. So there are numerous reasons why the BCS gods wanted to match those two schools against one another in Tempe, AZ.

And yet, I can't help but think that Boise State got screwed. Where will they be playing their bowl game this year? The 23 December San Diego Poinsettia Bowl, and against none other than TCU. So much for finishing the year ranked in the top ten overall, ahead of Ohio State. No good deed goes unpunished. Meanwhile, many other more prestigious bowls like the Outback, Gator, Cotton, and Capitol One Bowls filled their slates with the third- and fourth-best teams from the traditional power conferences. Why not match Boise State with Texas Tech in the Cotton Bowl? They were the next two highest ranked teams, and they had Texas Tech fans to pack the place even if folks from Boise decided not to fly down (which is highly unlikely).

This type of thing happens every year, and generates no small amount of controversy. I, for one, was really hoping Missouri could pull off the upset in the Big 12 Championship game. That would have meant a 10-3 Missouri team (if they had won) taking up the Big 12's automatic berth, while Texas probably would have played for the national title -- without winning their own Division, much less their own Conference! That has happened several times in the past, and it seems the Big 12 is always the culprit.

Blow up the BCS already!!!

Wow. What a Name!

So, I was heading in to my office yesterday when I saw the following bus parked out front of our building:
















I don't have a camera phone, so I actually pulled that photo from the GoLamers website. Apparently, these guys run a very successful charter bus line in Wisconsin and Florida, and they apparently were transporting some university's volleyball team for a match against the Fighting Illini this weekend.

All I can really say is that they must have the MOST... UNFORTUNATE... SURNAME... EVER!!!

C'mon, when you have to make a claim like this:

We at Lamers are committed to offering the newest and most meticulously maintained vehicles, as well as the most experienced and responsive staff. Traditionally, thousands of travelers rely on Lamers to make their trips a pleasure ... you can, too!

It can't be good, am I right?

Would you really want to walk off a bus labeled "Lamers" in bright red letters on the side? And would you really want to take the Lamers 2009 tour? Get in on the thirtieth anniversary tour in 2009! In Roman numerals, that becomes the XXX-rated tour! I've never been a big fan of any guided bus tour, so perhaps I'm prejudiced.

Worst Blog List

I think we can all be thankful that our 35 million+ blogs are too small to attract the attention of MSM powerhouses like MSN.com, who came up with this list of the lamest blogs. They basically ripped on lame advertising or marketing attempts (Jack in the Box, Pepsi, Wal*Mart, etc.) disguised as blogs, and I'm OK with that. MSN also ripped (pseudo-) celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Rosie O'Donnell and Paris Hilton for their blogs, and I'm OK with that, too.

The one blog I thought was unfairly singled out was Dave Walker's Dullest Blog in the World. The premise of that blog was pretty clever, I thought. If something is intentionally lame, that makes it un-lame, right? It's like if you make fun of yourself, then no one else can. Call it the Louie Anderson corollary. The one drawback is that Dave lost interest in providing further updates back in 2006, so MSN really shouldn't be picking this as one of the current lamest blogs.

I also greatly appreciated the below comic strip from Stephan Patsis, who writes and draws "Pearls Before Swine,"* one of my favorite comics these days. Don't we all feel like Pig sometimes?














* You might be familiar with the expression, which dates back to the Bible. Patsis regularly uses his comic to rip the old, staid standbys of the comics page, like Blondie, Beetle Bailey, Hagar the Horrible, and Family Circus; when Blondie did its huge anniversary/birthday party using characters from other comic strips (and the other cartoonists drew their characters as getting ready for the party in the days leading up to the event), Patsis drew Rat and Pig as the uninvited party crashers. Surely there's another expression about biting hands that feed... ah, but I digress.